Thanksgiving

Sorry for the delay in posting!  Things have been rather busy here over the last few weeks.  Yesterday was the first day that I spent most of the day at the center, without having to run anywhere else, for at least three weeks.  It was strange to sit at my computer and actually get some measurable work done, since the last few weeks have been more about conversations, wakes and funerals, worship services and less "measurable" work.

I was trying to listen to myself as Thanksgiving was coming up a few weeks ago.  I was curious if I was sad that I wasn’t with my family or confused over how to celebrate Thanksgiving in a community of people who are typically depicted at Thanksgiving as wearing buckskin loin cloths and wearing feather headdresses.  I had prepared myself to curl up on the couch with the boxed DVD set of The Vicar of Dibley, which is a British TV show about a female priest in England.  My friend Kelly, a pastor in Chicago, sent me this boxed set after we had an exchange about some of the difficult days of being an intern.  My supervisor said that we’d close the center on Thanksgiving and the day after. 

I was ready for a break.  Vicar of Dibley.  My couch.  My puppy.  My favorite Thanksgiving leftovers: mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and brussel sprouts.  The entire month of November has flown by, since it’s been so busy around here.  The idea of having nothing else to do sounded magnificent.

Life in ministry is not just about the plans we make in advance, documenting the dates and times of events into my trusty planner.  Life in ministry often means spontaneous, last minute needs that pop up.  Keep this in mind.

Let’s start with the day before Thanksgiving.  I got up to go the dentist at 7am, then shopped for the necessary fixin’s for our two Thanksgiving meals.  Got back from the store and spent the rest of Wednesday cooking a big meal for the kids.  We ended up serving approximately 40 kids a full meal: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, gravy, cranberry sauce, rolls and pumpkin pie.  After feeding them and cleaning up the dinner, we left fifteen minutes later to go to a wake.  This particular death was due to suicide and the deceased was 27 years old. 

My first funerals and wakes here were for young children, which carries its own weight and difficulties.  There’s something different about looking into a casket and seeing someone your own age, who chose to take their life.  This death took a lot out of me, since one of my seminary classmates committed suicide this fall, as I was driving across the country to begin internship. 

There are no good answers for suicide, especially young suicide.  You can’t say, “He lived a good life…” when really, I’m very aware of how many hopes, dreams, plans, ideas and adventures are ahead of me, and this man, at my age, is lying in a casket.  It’s difficult.

After several hours at the wake, I went back to the Center and sat down to write my Thanksgiving sermon.  I was trained by my preaching professor, Craig Satterlee, to prepare for your sermon well in advance of preaching it.  I usually have my sermon written by Thursday evening, Friday morning at the latest, allowing me plenty of time to read over it and internalize the words.  Due to the chaos of the last week, sermon writing really couldn’t happen until the day before. 

I got up at 7am on Thanksgiving to start cooking for the meal after the service, and to finish writing my sermon.  I finished just in time to load up the car with all the food and drive out to St. John’s for our Thanksgiving worship service.  As I was setting up the table, I realized that I had left my sermon back at the center. 

Welp.  I did say that I wanted to try preaching without notes a few times on internship.  I didn’t expect to have to do it unplanned.  I think the sermon went well though, probably because I had written it an hour before.  We worshipped. We ate.  We went home.  An hour later, I was back out to the second night of the wake.

Most of Friday was spent at the funeral.  My supervisor and I left “early” after about four and half hours.  The total service, viewing, burial, feed and giveaway probably lasted over six hours. 

So, when people ask about my Thanksgiving, I realize that my plans of curling up with a British sitcom were replaced by being with a room of people grieving the scary, untimely death of a young person.  And I think I was exactly where I needed to be.  And for this, I am most thankful.