I headed out of the building and up the sidewalk where I normally walk with Steve-o. I got to the second of our two traffic lights and saw a white man driving a van. I had this feeling that he wanted to talk to me. Make all the jokes you want about avoiding a man in a van, but I felt like I must have hit his radar as a non-Native. Sure enough, Man in the Van pulled into the lot next to the sidewalk I was on and greeted me. He introduced himself and said that he was hoping to come to Pine Ridge with his family and friends, since God had "placed a burden on [their] hearts to work with the Lakota people." Immediately, my guard went up. I am a child of the ELCA Accompaniment Model. I found language for how I feel about "mission" and "mission trips" in the accompaniment model when I became an ELCA missionary, but I've always struggled with outsiders coming in and determining what a community needs. Needless to say, I get really uneasy when I meet people for the first time and I hear them talk about coming to a community because God called them there.
Man in the Van proceeded to explain that he felt called to start a program at Pine Ridge due to the serious issues that this community faces. All of the sudden, I found myself very defensive of this community. Wednesday marks six weeks of being here. I've written about forest fires and alcohol abuse. I've written about infant deaths. I've told my friends and family about my various complaints and frustrations with being here. But that's me, someone who's here for longer and I'm here in "accompaniment" with the people and blah blah blah. I'm still a white person who's showing up for a bit, learning about this place, and ultimately leaving.
So, what's good?
I've always loved this question. It actually means, "What's up?" What's up? What's happening here? What's good here? So here it is. Here's the blog post that I've needed to write, just so that I can share the joys along with the sorrows.
- The man who comes for devotions every day and took me to the Indian rodeo is hysterical. We tease each other every morning about lots of things. My favorite recent one is that I want him to use roller blades to get around town. He's 75.
- One of the kids the other day tapped my arm and said, with his toothless smile, "I have a daddy belly." and he rubbed his belly. Not really sure what this meant, I asked him and he just patted his belly. I said, "Do you have a daddy belly because you're full?" And he nodded 'yes.'
- One of the guys out front the other day said, "Meredith, go inside the center and get me a taco. I know you've got one hiding in there." Now, being demanded to do something isn't fun. Being demanded, in jest, to go get a hidden taco? Hysterical.
- A man at the assisted living facility has never said more than a prayer request or "thank you" to me before this past Sunday. This week, he talked my ear off about the projects he's working on and showed me the chalkboard detailing his work.
- One of the kids is teaching me how to do the Lakota beadwork on a headband; he makes fun of me for being so slow at it. I beat him in chess every time we play. I consider it a trade-off.
- The last several nights of kids' Sanctuary time, at least one little girl has come to me, tugged my arm and said, "Will you sit by me at dinner?"
- A little boy with a mullet was sitting in the front seat of my car when I went to do pick-ups for kids' time. He slipped on my Aviator sunglasses, put his feet up on my dashboard and declared himself a rockstar.
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| Leading worship for the kids' time in Sanctuary |
I'm in love with the people in this community. It's hard to always like the things I see every day, but with these moments of absolute, pure, heart-swelling joy, I can trudge through the tough stuff.
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